


days

by teawithsugarr



Category: Hamilton - Miranda, Kagerou Project
Genre: Alternate Universe - Kagerou Project, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Heavy Angst, How Do I Tag, Hurt No Comfort, I Made Myself Cry, I'm Sorry, It gets dark, Jefferson Pov, M/M, Madison is a kuudere, Mads gets hit by a truck, Mentioned Alexander Hamilton, Mentioned Angelica Schuyler, Mentioned Marquis de Lafayette, Mutual Pining, Pining, Pre-Relationship, Suicide i guess?????, What Have I Done, fluff at the start, fuck you you can pull kuudere mads from my cold dead hands, its just depressing groundhog day, seriously
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-15
Updated: 2020-08-15
Packaged: 2021-03-06 00:28:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,526
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25814320
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/teawithsugarr/pseuds/teawithsugarr
Summary: And so it repeats.And repeats.And repeats.Tuesday August 14th, 12:04 PM.And there Thomas stood trapped in the centre.Endlessly, in the heat haze.
Relationships: Thomas Jefferson & James Madison, Thomas Jefferson/James Madison
Comments: 3
Kudos: 16





	days

**Author's Note:**

> _began. monday, 1O august, O2:29 am_  
>  _finished. saturday, 15 august, O5:35 am_  
>  _word count. 3,504_  
>  _character count. 21,185_  
>   
>   
>  it's august 15th, so that means it's time to inflict as many people as i can with kagerou project!
> 
> in honour of every character's death, have jeffmads and hibiya and hiyori, but nothing like them. literally the only similarity is the song.
> 
> in case you don't know what you're getting into, buckle up and get ready for tears! you might wanna listen to the song before reading, though you don't have to.
> 
> This fic may start out nice and fluffy (and bad, i can't write fluff), but just wait
> 
> :)  
>   
>   
>  ** _tw. lots of death, lots of blood, panic attacks, kind of suicide_**  
> 

> **[kagerou days. english sub](https://youtu.be/A7KNYk4f3XQ) **
> 
> **[kagerou days. english cover](https://youtu.be/MU-rdG-M5Ho) **

Thomas Jefferson prided himself in being better than everyone. He knew what he was and he wasn't afraid to flaunt it to anyone who had the misfortune of having to deal with him. Some may call him an _“arrogant douchebag”_ (“some” being his co-worker, Alexander Hamilton), but that didn't stop his adoring fans singing his praises every time he so much as breathed. How some random lawyer managed to get the entirety of America infatuated with him not even he could understand— but that doesn't matter.

What matters is, Thomas Jefferson was not a humble man and there was nothing more important to him than his pride.

 _Well, maybe one thing..._ he quickly silenced the thought, yawning as he stretched his arms. He slowly pushed the duvet off his barely-awake body, being helped somewhat by the bright beam of sunlight that so kindly positioned itself right in his eye as he slept; he was sure that was what woke him up in the first place, Thomas always slept in on his off-days. Though, everyone's definition of “slept-in” is different, it was already well past noon.

Specifically, _Wednesday, August 15th, 12:28 PM_ , according to the phone he instinctively checked. He already had three messages from one James Madison—fellow lawyer and his best friend (though James will insist they're just acquaintances).

James was a stoic man—always calm and seemingly emotionless at first glance, with a glare that struck fear in the hearts of his enemies. He treated every situation with the utmost seriousness and didn't take anything from anyone. Only God knows how the hell they became friends; if they were to have met today they'd be filled with so much fiery hatred for one another the world would surely implode.

But that's not what happened.

That made no damn sense, but, hey, since when has anything concerning Thomas Jefferson made any sense?

Now, Thomas couldn't bring himself to even imagine a world without James. . .

His ability to always calm Thomas down just by being there, how he'd sigh and begrudgingly put up with his chaotic self, the rare times he managed to catch his gorgeous smile and it felt like he'd found gold.

James was the first one, the only one to see past his façade. The lies he coated himself in every day and broadcast to the world. James had seen him for who he really is. He had other friends of course, Lafayette and Angelica Schuyler spring to mind but there was no one like James.

Maybe it was just because they had known each other so long...

Thomas shook his head, realising he had been blankly staring at his phone for five minutes.

**10:47**

**Jemmy ❤:** Knowing you youve probably forgotten so just a reminder were going to the park at 1 today

**11:22**

**Jemmy ❤:** You up yet?

**12:04**

**Jemmy ❤:** I swear to god thomas if you sleep through this i will end you

_Oh shit._

A cold bead of sweat formed on Thomas' brow as he hurried out of bed. James, as he usually was, was entirely right: Thomas had completely forgotten their plans. He debated on whether he had time for a shower or not, checking his phone.

_12:48 PM_

Fuck.

No.

No.

_No._

He grabbed the first jacket he saw and sprinted out the door. This wouldn't be the first time Thomas was late to plans he made with someone, but there was something different this time. Yeah, there was the fact this was his and James' only day off, and Thomas tried to convince himself it was nothing more than that, but, still, something ached in his heart. The thought of James distant gaze, masking his true feelings. _“Why didn't you show up?”_ he'd ask, calm on the outside. What would Thomas respond with? He would only be able to stutter an apology. He'd let him down. _He'd let him down._  
His anxieties occupied his mind and he raced to the park. What if—

“Congrats, you're just barely late,” a deep voice interrupted his thoughts, “Jesus, did you run all this way?”

_James Madison._

The man almost looked ethereal in the dazzling rays that dappled the ground like a calico cat's fur. He swung casually on a swing-set, swaying to-and-fro. Thomas couldn't look away, it was like every thought in his mind suddenly disintegrated the moment he laid eyes on him. Its like Thomas had opened his eyes for the first time. Like everything he knew up until this point had been nothing compared to this moment. _This moment._

This was, of course, the same reaction Thomas had every time he saw James. It lasted only a split-second. It always did.

It was at that point that Thomas' body finally caught up with the fact he just ran fifteen minutes with a jacket on in blistering-hot weather in the middle of summer.

Thomas Jefferson, to add to his many traits, was apparently also an idiot.

“Maybe,” he tried to reply, though it came out as a flurry of _huffs_ and _puffs_ and he doubted James could even understand what he was trying to say.

“Oh my god, you're gonna die of heat stroke, why are you wearing a sweater?” Thomas pointed out. James just sighed, with a hint of amusement in his usually-expressionless voice. Thomas wasn't really paying attention to what he was saying, instead collapsing onto the swing next to him. Oh how he wished to just jump into a freezer, anything to stop the rainstorm of sweat. _At least it's not humid_ , he noted.

_Meow!_

James instantly spun around. The _pitter-patter_ of paws, occasionally coupled with the crunching of leaves, caused him to run into the bushes. One thing Thomas absolutely adored about James was his tendency to drop everything if he sees a cat. He could be running away from a murderer, but if he sees a cat it’s getting pet.

A few moments later, James returned—a black cat cradled softly in his arms. _That's my Jemmy—_

He caught himself mid-thought.

_What—no—mine?—what does that even mean? He's not mine—he's not anyone's. And why would I care anyway, he's just my friend._

“Jem, if you die following a cat it'll be your own fault,” Thomas commented with a grin. James had already sat down and was stroking its tiny head.

“Just cuz cats are superior to dogs—”

“You shut your mouth you monster!”

The two of them laughed, bantering back-and-forth which made them laugh some more. Never have two men been more carefree and relaxed than Thomas Jefferson and James Madison, on Wednesday August 15th, 01:21 PM.

“Yeah, I kinda hate summer though,” James absentmindedly replied to something Thomas had said, the cat still in his arms.

It was nothing more than a passing comment, something that came out of his mouth only to disappear a moment later.

Thomas didn't pay it any mind.

James didn't pay it any mind.

And they went on with their lives.

┅┅┅┅

“So, anyway, after that we——"

"Aw come on!” Thomas was in the middle of a story when the black cat, who had sat calmly in James' lap the entire time, leapt from his arms and ran away. Naturally, instead of letting the poor cat live its life, James chased after it. Thomas' eyes followed as he jogged forwards.

Onto the road.

It all happened so fast. One moment, James was just sitting next to him. He was sitting right next to him. And then...

 _Red_.

 _Red_ coated the road.

 _Red_ coated his vision.

 _Red_.

 _Red_.

_**Red**._

James' tortuous scream. His scream. It was like being torn apart. Like being dragged into hell.

_James._

**_James!_ **

He opened his mouth to shriek his name, to wail, to cry, anything! But no sound came out.

Paralyzed.

He was paralyzed.

Staring at the _red_.

 _Jem_.

He barely noticed his mangled body in the centre of the street. How his limbs contorted in ways no human limbs should bend. His face, now in a permanent expression of terror, though barely visible under the thick layers of blood. _Dark red blood._

_Jemmy!_

_It's okay, I'm here._

_I'm here!_

_It'll all be okay._

_It'll all be okay._

_I'm here Jemmy._

_It's okay, I'm here, I'm here._

_Jemmy._

_Jemmy!_

_Jemmy!_

Thomas hadn't even noticed the hot tears rushing down his face, like a waterfall of deadly acid. They stung his cheeks, they blinded him, they filled him with an excruciating pain beyond anything words could describe. The only thing, as he wailed and screamed in torment, he could see was the red.

The heat mocked him.

“T̴h̵i̸s̷ ̷i̸s̴ ̸a̴l̸l̸ ̶r̵e̷a̶l̷i̸t̵y̴!̷” it cried, “W̴h̴a̶t̷ ̵y̵o̶u̷ ̴s̸e̶e̵ ̸i̵s̶ ̶e̵x̶a̶c̵t̵l̶y̸ ̷w̶h̵a̴t̶ ̵y̴o̷u̵'̵r̸e̷ ̸g̸o̵n̴n̶a̶ ̷g̵e̶t̵!̶”

The sky faded.

And he fell into another dark sleep.

┅┅┅┅

Thomas Jefferson prided himself in being better than everyone. He knew what he was and he wasn't afraid to flaunt it to anyone who had the misfortune of having to deal with him. Some may call him——

_Wait, what, why are we doing this again?_

Thomas sat up in his bed, a trembling mess. _Jemmy!_ The nightmare was still etched in his mind. It wouldn't go away. _It wouldn't go away._

_...dark red blood..._

_...limbs contorted..._

_...torturous scream..._

The images kept replaying in his mind, over and over. Replaying. He couldn't get them out of his head. He—

_Ding!_

Went his phone, laying casually on his bedside, plunging him back into reality. It rang through his ears, clearing away all his worries.

It was fine.

_Jemmy’s fine._

The blinking time stared at him through the screen. _Tuesday, 14th August, 12:04 PM._ Thomas could have sworn his day-off was tomorrow, but he didn't pay it much mind. James was safe. It was just a nightmare. Thomas noted that he had never been prone to nightmares, but once again brushed it aside. _These things just happen, I guess,_ he told himself.

**10:47**

**Jemmy ❤:** Knowing you youve probably forgotten so just a reminder were going to the park at 1 today

**11:22**

**Jemmy ❤:** You up yet?

**12:04**

**Jemmy ❤:** I swear to god thomas if you sleep through this i will end you

Im awake leave me alone!! **:Me**

 **Jemmy ❤:** Good

Thomas spent quite a bit of time picking out his outfit. As a man who takes such pride in his appearance, he scoffed at his dream-self for just throwing on the first thing he could find. Putting his phone in his pocket, Thomas realised he would probably still be late; it was already 12:34. _No matter,_ he shrugged and stepped out the door.

But there was something nagging at him.

A feeling at the back of his mind that gnawed at his brain.

The more he tried to suppress it, the more it infected his every thought.

He couldn't describe it, _dread, foreboding maybe?_ He shook his head. _Who cares!_  
But it stayed in his head the entire journey.

It turned out he was wrong about being late, since he and James got there at the same time. The sun blazed down, making his hair look almost golden in the summer rays. There was something... off about the man. Thomas couldn't quite pinpoint it. The way his head hung, or how the shadows on his face made him look downtrodden.

_...red coated the road..._

“Huh, you're actually on time,” James broke the silence, “That's new.”

Thomas tried to force a smile, sitting on the swing in front of him.

_...his mangled body in the centre of the street..._

“Yeah, I think this is a first for me.”

“Never thought I'd see the day.”

The memories plagued his mind like a ruthless disease. They churned in his head, sucking away any semblance of happiness from their interaction. _But it wasn't real. It wasn't!_ He desperately tried to silence them.

_...screamed in torment..._

_...dragged into hell..._

“Hey, Thomas, you alright?” James returned—a black cat cradled in his arms. _When had he even left?_ Thomas couldn't recall.

In reality, Thomas was absolutely not alright. His hands were trembling, his eyes were at the same time darting around—scanning everything—and staying focused on James. He couldn't let James get hurt.

 _But he isn't going to get hurt,_ Thomas tried to convince himself, _It was just a dream. A fucking horrible dream, but just a dream._

“Uhh, yeah I'm fine,” if James was still concerned, he didn’t press any further.

Thomas couldn't tell what the man was planning, but he ignored it one again. _Just put on a smile and pretend you're not dying inside. Simple._

And as the dazzling sun crept across the summer sky, the two men swung idly on the swingset. And it was perfect. It had to be.

_Because the other option is..._

The rays beat down.

And life went on.

┅┅┅┅

"So, what do you think?"

...

"Thomas, you there?"

Thomas snapped back to reality. He hasn't really been paying attention to anything James was saying, not through lack-of-effort though. His mind was just... _occupied at the minute,_ he justified. A brief jolt of pity stabbed at Thomas, James was probably finding this whole thing quite awkward; it was no better than just talking to himself. _Ruining Jem's day off with your stupid nightmare, nice goin' Jeffer-shit._

"Uuh, yeah sure?" he attempted a reply, though the fact he didn't gave the slightest idea of what he was being asked didn't really help his case, "I mean no! Umm, maybe?"

James sighed, "Are you feeling alright?" Thomas was taken aback by his soft, tender voice, "You've been very quiet today."

Thomas was tempted to tell James everything at that moment. He wanted to collapse into his arms, he wanted to cry, he wanted—he needed—to be assured that _James was sitting next to him. He was sitting right next to him._

"Must be the heat," Thomas reassured James, every logical cell in his body screaming at him to stop, "Shows how smart we are for hanging out in the middle of August." James stared at Thomas for an unusually long amount of time, the reason Thomas couldn't seem to understand. _Maybe the fact I just lied to his face._ Thomas tried to pretend he didn't notice the pitying eyes focused on finding a single slip-up in the happy little lie he's hiding behind.

"Oh come on!" James grumbled. _The black cat...!_

_Red..._

_James' torturous scream..._

_Shriek his name..._

_Red..._

_Paralyzed..._

_His mangled body in the centre of the street..._

_The thick layers of blood..._

_Wailed and screamed in torment..._

_Red..._

**_Red..._ **

**RED.**

Urgent and sweating bullets, Thomas grabbed his wrist, jerking James to a sudden halt. He didn't even realise what he'd done until he felt James gently trying to tug his wrist free.

"I... I think the two of us should leave" he managed to stammer out, his grip unknowingly tightening.

James paused for a moment, examining Thomas' face. He was a mess, shaking and on the verge of tears. As far as Thomas knew, James had never seen him in this state before: probably because he had never seen himself in this state before either.

"Yes, I believe that would be for the better," James replied. Thomas let out a sigh of relief, releasing the shorter man's wrist. _He's safe. Jemmy's safe._

And so they left. Thomas led the way as fast as he could, almost running, with James trekking not too far behind. _He's probably looking for the cat._ Thomas couldn't go more than a few moments without his eyes darting behind him, making sure James was still there. He always was, and he was always fine, and Thomas _should_ _just calm down and—!_

They walked in silence, no doubt awkward for James but heavenly to Thomas. There was no screaming, no _red._ The path that stretched before them, avenued by likely decade-old oak trees, was coming to a stop, and Thomas' steps were speeding up. It would all be over soon, and he's be back home, and James would be _safe._ Trying to hide his euphoria, Thomas almost leaped through the park gates.

_Why is everyone looking at the sky...?_

Barely taking a few steps onto the street, Thomas felt a cold hand push him back. There wasn't enough time to react. _Jemmy!_

**_R̴̳͝e̸̙̒ď̴̪._ **

Razor-sharp iron beams all shot down with the speed of a missile. They splashed the scene in that deep, dark red. _**Red**. _James lay there. Impaled. Short, shallow breaths escaped him until...

The **_red_** flowed out.

Motionless.

All movement ceased.

James lay there.

_**R̴̳͝e̸̙̒ď̴̪.** _

Thomas barely noticed the beam that brushed his cheek, sending pools of **_red_** across his face. Thomas barely noticed the horried onlookers, filling his ears with their cries. _He didn't notice. He didn't care._

It was all just _**red**._

**_Red._ **

**_Red._ **

**_Red._ **

**_Red._ **

**_R̴̳͝e̸̙̒ď̴̪!_ **

_**R̶̹̫̺͋̚e̸̺͖̔d̵̛̞̐͆ ̴̤͙͂̕r̷̖͐͝e̸̯̬̐d̴̢̄̌ ̷̹̠̔ȓ̵͖̌̔e̵̫͋̄̕ḑ̴̟͇̒͆̈́ ̷͖̝̺͛̆r̵̙̘̫̀̌e̷̛͙̐̄d̸̰͈̯͋͒ ̴̡̈̓̾r̸̛̫̘̣̈́e̴̯̦̿̎ḏ̷͕̝̒͆ ̸̲͖͔r̸̻͆̓͝e̷̡͈̔̆̃ͅd̷̥̙͗̓ ̴̪̹͎͆̏̒r̷͖̗͛̋͆é̴̢͉͖d̴̦̏ ̴̩̔r̴̲͛̕ͅe̵̦͕̋̔d̷̲̋͒̕ ̸̹͒̅r̷̛̖͊̆e̵̝̞̒̈͜d̸̢͓̽ ̷̝̅͂̔r̵̩̼͔͛̈́e̴̯̮͉͗͘d̶̼͔͌͠ ̶̺̣͝ř̸̫̳ȅ̵̗̇̈́d̵̟̭̍̎͆ ̵̢̻̾̚r̶̩̠͙̉̉̋è̷̦̌̓d̴̪̘̰̈́͘͘ ̶̣r̶̯͌͝e̶͔͛̆́d̶̦͖͎̚ ̶̲̫̩͑̈́͠r̸̯̪̅̓̈è̶̪̫̙͊̚d̴̡̬̰͑̅͒ ̶̫̱̣̆r̷͇̀͗̾ẽ̴̘̼̃d̴̠̦̖̏̽͂ ̷͒̅͒ͅr̷̙̚e̶͛̋̃ͅd̷̜̤̓ ̶̥͛̀r̸̬̰͕͊͐ē̶̟̦̜ḑ̶̠̓̕ ̷̧̼͉̄̎͠r̶̺̓̅͑e̵̠͜d̸̖̊ ̴̡͙̒̅̄r̸̘̩̤͘e̸͔̿̐d̸̺̜̽̊ ̷̺̏ͅr̶͍̉e̸̡͕̫͘ḓ̷̦͇̏ ̷̪̑͆̈́r̴͎̱̝̿͋ȅ̸̖d̸̜͚͓̃͝ ̵̠̚r̸͕̦͆͑e̶̪̝̓d̸̢̘̊̓̽ ̸̢̈́͆ȑ̵̬̗͈̕e̴̼̐͗ḓ̶͖̜̆ ̸͚͂̎ŕ̷̜͝ë̷̠͉́̓ͅd̴͔͗̌ ̸͖̘̍̊̒r̸̛̮̳̩̓̑ë̶̹̙́̚d̴͓͙̿̌͝ ̷͚̊̐r̷̮͙̼̈́̃e̶̼̲̒̇͝d̷̦͓̄͌ ̶̼̠̔̌̚͜r̵͔͉̅͝e̴̤͈͉̓͝d̵̼̫͆͗̅ ̷̨̝̍̎r̷̝͕̓̆̈́e̷͍̍̍d̶͍͓͈̅ ̸̢̢̟̐͊ṟ̸̬̱̉̈́ë̴̖́͂d̴̳͙͈̋̐ ̴͈̠̇̈́ȓ̴̹̠ë̶̪͓́̊ḏ̷̠͚̄͗ ̷̯̯̐r̵͈̪͗̏̉e̶͈͓͌̚d̵̗̖̄͐̈́ ̷͓̽̌̽r̵̙̟̾̃͐e̵̫̍d̴̄̚͜ ̴̡̄ŗ̵̼̗ě̸̻͇d̴̬̎ ̷̡̪̫͐r̴̥̪̀͜ȩ̵͔̩̄͝d̵̫̜̣̅ ̵͈̕ŗ̸̹̝́e̸̳̯̽d̵̳͎̽ ̷̢͓̾̍r̵͓͕͋̓e̸̯̍̄̚d̸̥̳̳̐̃ ̵͚̣̆ŗ̸̬̌̋̒ͅȩ̷̢͓͂ḑ̸̰ ̴̢̛̀r̷̲͍̀̇e̶̢͔͑ḑ̶̦̗͛ ̴̪̄r̶̨̻̳͗͛ë̶̞́̔d̵͉̾̄̚ ̸͙̓͊ṟ̸͐̎ẽ̶̠̗̭d̴̨̺͛͒̇ ̵̢͇͈̋̔r̷͕̎e̴͇̣̤̔d̸͕̘̄̅̚ ̶̱̽̈́͠r̷̥̰͆͋e̷͈͎͒̽ḍ̴̱͇̾ ̴̧̭͆r̵̩͕͗̓e̶̟̳͎̓͑̉d̸̔ͅ ̷̗͋̈͂r̵͓̗̥͆̕͘ȩ̷̛̟̠̿̚d̴̬̺͚͂ ̶̧͂͆͜ȑ̷̟̜͕͝e̵̳̹͗d̸̰̓͝ ̶̳͇̻r̸͓͒̇͐͜ẻ̴͓̤̐͘ḋ̵̳̼ ̷͉̇̆r̶͙̅̍̂ḛ̴̊d̸͇ ̶̝͙͆r̵̹͊͂e̵̮̔͝͠d̸͍̕ ̴̩̈́r̶̢͔͔͐̔ë̵̞̭̦̕͝d̶̙̤̑̈́͘ ̶̝̓̎r̵̞̘̼̋ě̴̤͈̜d̷̻̑ ̶̭͛r̶̮̳͖̊̿̔ẹ̵͗̄d̶̗̼̆ ̸̙̞̅ŗ̸͖̬͐̍̇ě̷̹͗ḏ̴̛ͅ ̵̛͈̀r̷̛͇̾͐ẽ̵̠̆̿ḋ̶̘̫̤̿͝ ̷͎̕͝r̷͖̈̚e̷̹͆d̸̬̄͐ ̵̧̢͓͛͒ř̴̯̠̭̅ë̴͈͇́͆͝d̴͓̄ ̷̢̺̟̇͂͑r̵̞̻̯͐̃̓e̶̢͔͌̒̍ͅd̸̖́ ̸̠͒́r̴̰͎̅͘ͅe̴̛͇d̴͎͋ ̸̫̞͂͘r̵̟̰̟̍̍͝ḙ̷͌̏͠ḓ̴̗̔͋ ̸̩̘̈́̕r̸͚̹̪̆͋e̴̛̤͍͒d̷̮̣ ̸̜̲̾r̴̙̪̾͑͜ȩ̸͕̌̈́̐ͅd̵͉͊̈́͠ ̶̦́̇ŗ̶͕̓ȩ̸̑͑͋d̵̬͎͑͂̓ ̸͕͈̗͝r̸̪͆̏e̸̖̗͋̊ͅd̸̮̳̭͗̍ ̴̘́̉͜r̶̻̝̈́̊e̵̙͆ḑ̴͙̱͗ ̵̖͖̌̇͒r̶͔̟̓ȇ̶̡̎̄d̶͚͒̈́͆ ̸̘̌̍͗r̶̨̈́̀e̸̦͔͔͘̕͠d̵̻̄̇ ̶̘̘̪͗̈́̎r̷͇̰̎e̴̢̟̽ḑ̸̞͔͘ ̶̲̰̩͛͒r̸͓̱̈́̋e̸͕̭̿̄d̷̹̫̦ ̸͚̔͋͘r̷̛̮̒̈́e̶͚̋̊́d̸̠̹̥̊̀͐ ̴̩̻̥̏r̴̜͐͂e̷̯͇̤ḑ̴͖̃ ̸̮͂̉̔r̶̦̻̘̉e̸̢̪̟͆̿d̵͙̿͊ ̵͖͑̅r̵̨̢͕̃͠ḛ̶̳͗̽d̷̪̜̹͊̚ ̴̰̙͋̆̍ŕ̷͈̭̇e̸̢̞̻̽d̸̬̓̌ ̴̡͔͙̏̊͠r̶̯̹̞͗e̶͙̲̘̎d̶͕̫̎̇ ̶̺͇̈́͝r̴̖̺̦̓e̴͓̖̼d̷̡̖̓̓ ̵̙̟̭̄r̶̺̳̅̈́̒ę̶̟͝d̶͉̐͂ ̵͇͎͂̾́r̷̰͓̃̐e̴̠͂͠͠d̵̡̈́̈́ ̴̘́̃r̵̠͚̠̐e̸̼̳̐̃̑d̷̰͍̫̈́̓ ̸̹̱̼͐̄r̶̯̉ę̵̪͔̈́̓̿d̷̛̙̫̹͛̇ ̷͔͓̮̎̐̅ṙ̴̺̟̫̅ê̴̦͝d̶̨̞̣̆̅͗ ̵̰̐**_

A wail. A cry. A shreik. What did it matter? Thomas wasn't paying attention. It was all a haze. A misty memory.

_This wasn't supposed to happen._

_You were meant to be safe!_

_Everything was fine!_

_I was meant to keep you safe!_

_Why......._

The heat mocked him.

"B̷̹̒e̸͝ͅt̷͍̓ ̶̜̏y̶̬͋ȯ̵͔ũ̵̙ ̷͉̐ẘ̴͍i̸͒ͅs̶̟̿h̵̦̉ ̵̩̈́y̵̐͜ọ̵̿u̷̯̍ ̵͓͛w̵͚̾e̵͕r̴̺͋e̵̹̐ ̴͑ͅa̸̩̎s̸̙̅ľ̵͜ḙ̴e̴͕̊p̸͚̓" the sky darkened, "b̴̪͊ṷ̵̽t̴̙̏ ̶̯̉ṯ̸̾h̴͊ͅḯ̶̡s̷̙̄ ̸̠̌į̶̊s̶̳̽ ̶͈͆t̷̜͑ḧ̴̯e̵̖͋ ̵͖͝r̵̘͝ė̴͚a̵̼̔l̶̹͌ ̸̻͝t̵̢̏h̸͍͋i̷̭͒n̴͕̓g̸̺͂!̷͖̂"

Vision blurred.

Thoughts drowned.

But in the midst of it all, Thomas could swear he saw his cold body wearing such a _dark smile._

┅┅┅┅

Thomas shot up.

_Jem._

_Jem._

_Jem!_

He could barely remember where he was. His thoughts jumbled. _What day is it? Where am I? Where is Jemmy?_

All that existed in Thomas Jefferson's mind was James' body. Torn apart. Split in two. _Red._

Just as quickly as he'd awoken, Thomas raced to the door. He didn't bother changing. It didn't matter, all that mattered was James.

He sprinted through the street. Past the construction sight. Past the trees. _Jemmy!_

There he was.

He was fine.

He was _fine._

_He's not safe—!_

Before James could utter a word, Thomas grabbed his arm and dragged him behind him as he ran. He ran. James tried to protest, to yell. But Thomas couldn't hear over the sound of the blood rushing in his ears.

He need to _run._

He didn't care where he was going, he didn't care.

James wasn't _safe._

James _wasn't fine._

_James——_

_"What the hell are you doing?!"_

James yelled. _James yelled._ Thomas, finally coming to his senses, realised he had led the two of them onto a bridge. He'd look insane to an outsider. _I probably sound insane too._

Before he could try to explain himself, James attempted to yank free of his grasp.

But he overestimated how tightly Thomas was gribbing his arm.

All at once, he shot backwards.

Down the stairs.

Down.

_Down._

**_Down._ **

_Crunch!_

The stairs were painted _**ṟ̸̒ͅe̴̘̠̓͘d̷̪̞̀̓**_. His vision clouded, the tears spilled out. Just like the _**ṟ̸̒ͅe̴̘̠̓͘d̷̪̞̀̓**_.

It was all _**ṟ̸̒ͅe̴̘̠̓͘d̷̪̞̀̓.**_

It was always **_ṟ̸̒ͅe̴̘̠̓͘d̷̪̞̀̓._**

Thomas’ hand reached out. Far too late.

James twitched on the ground. Like a piece of roadkill.

_**R̶̙̊e̸̦̓̕d̸͖̱̄̂.** _

The heat laughed and laughed.

_**"K̸͖̒e̷̝̋e̷͙͘p̸̱͐ ̴̩̕b̴̈ͅĕ̴͚g̸̻̓g̴̖̊ỉ̵͈n̶̺̕g̶͚͑!̵̩̾ ̸̫̎I̴͇̋t̴̩̀'̴͖̽l̶̨͘ḽ̷̚ ̷͉̈́s̵̙͊ṱ̷̄i̶̗͛l̵̢͆l̷̰̇ ̸̙̊a̸̰̎l̷̺̚w̵̰͊ă̸̻y̴̘̎s̴̹̎ ̷͔̈b̷̲̂ĕ̵̻ ̶̬͛r̷͖̐e̷̫̅a̷̞̍l̵̨̾!̵͖͝"** _

Thomas could only muster a whimper.

The abyss dragged him closer.

And he fell right back into unconsciousness.

┅┅┅┅

And so it repeats.

And repeats.

And repeats.

_Tuesday August 14th, 12:04 PM._

And Thomas stood trapped in the centre.

Endlessly, in the heat haze.

The days turned into months, which turned into years. Decades passed. Never an ending in sight.

And the laughing never ceased.

And the red never faded.

And James continued to die.

_I love him._

Thomas had realised that a long time ago. He loved James Madison.

He loved him so much.

He would gladly die over and over and over for him.

To keep him safe.

_And that's exactly what I'll do._

_The black cat ran away..._

_James jogged after..._

_Onto the road._

Thomas yanked him away, pushing James back onto the pavement. He shreiked. The truck crashed into Thomas' body, tearing it into a pile of severed limbs and cold, dark blood. It oozed out of his mouth, as a dark smile crept onto his lips.

"Serves you right," he spit at the haze, though it came out as a croak.

James screamed and screamed and screamed. Thomas couldn't hear a word. He couldn't hear anything.

His mangled body lay in the centre of the street. James rushed to his side.

_"Thomas! I'm here, I'm here, it's gonna be okay!"_

Thomas didn't feel his warm touch. He didn't feel him cradle his lifeless body. He didn't hear him scream his name, begging and pleading for him to just _stay alive._

But to Thomas, the clear, summer sky had never seemed more _blue._

**Author's Note:**

> ha, that was a lot. i always appreciate feedback, so show no mercy in telling me ways i can improve.
> 
> i know i didn't include the final bit with hiyori, but it just felt right to end on that line. it was already too angsty for my soul, i would have died ;-;
> 
> try not to die today, goodbye ^^


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